Of course considering the amount of hormones coursing through my veins right now that could just be from reading the back of a cereal box. (Seriously, Mythbusters on Discovery made me tear up today. Don’t ask. Steve laughed at me so you don’t need to.)

Cynthia and I went to see Juno this afternoon. Loved it! I love the main character – she cracked me up! The labor scene didn’t scare me too much (bonus points). I could relate to it both as a pregnant woman and an adoptive mom. I had a few tears at a couple of different points but no embarrassing sobs. There was a slight creepy factor with one situation and I wish they had dealt a little more with the emotional aspect of the girl putting her baby up for adoption – but I recommend this movie.

And for those, like my mother, who fear it is glorifying teen pregnancy – it isn’t. Besides it is the parents’ responsibility to discuss these issues with their teens, not Hollywood’s. Okay, hopping off the soap box.

I haven’t had a haircut since either right before moving to Guatemala or right after coming home (I can’t remember).  I hate going to new hairdressers.  I hate the awkward small talk.  I hate trusting a stranger with scissors.  I’ve asked just about everyone I’ve met if they love their hairdresser and no one has really said they do.  My hair was finally so long and on my nerves that I bit the bullet and called a random salon.  The girl was such a baby – about 23 years old.  But she did a good job and spent more time cutting my hair than most stylists I’ve been to – I imagine I will go back to her in the future.  My hubby was shocked when I walked in.  In my head, this is the way my hair always looks so I didn’t really understand the fuss.  I will say the back is shorter than I’ve probably ever had it (it is shorter in the back than the front).  I include photos not because it is fabulous, simply because if I don’t I know you will ask for one.

Before:

After:

A couple of quick photos of Sabrina from yesterday.  She has been cranky – she has a couple of the big side teeth (molars?) on the bottom coming in.  One has broken through most of the way but the one on the other side has not.  Her poor little gums are so swollen it makes me hurt just to look at them.

As for me, it seems that Tuesday was the worst of it for the moment.  Since I wrote my whiny post, I’ve been feeling pretty good.  My energy certainly isn’t back to normal but I haven’t been quite as tired.  I started taking my prenatal vitamin at night and I haven’t had a headache in 3 days – could be a coincidence but I will continue taking it at night.  The nausea has lessened a bit too.  Of course the reduction in symptoms causes me to worry that something is wrong (just no making me happy, is there?)…but since we’ve made it this far I have to admit I am feeling rather optimistic now.   You notice I was browsing maternity clothes yesterday – that is pretty darn optimistic for me!  (Thanks for the suggestions by the way…Ebay hadn’t occurred to me which is amazing because it is usually my go to place for web browsing.)  Back to the doctor on Monday.

Sabrina spent yesterday alternating between this puppy that talks/sings (she carried it with her everywhere after not touching it for 6 months) and putting things into and out of her lego wagon.  Put things into and pulling them out of boxes, bags, and any other container is her current favorite activity.

I still struggle to do something with her hair but it is so fine and she is so impatient with any combing or styling that I can’t get much more than a little barrette in to keep her bangs off her forehead.  I have some tiny pony tail holders but I can’t get her to sit still long enough (even in her high chair) to do much with them.  Maybe when she is older!

I know many of you have been fretting that without being allowed to interact with the outside world, I wouldn’t have any fodder for memo writing.  Fear not…I can get worked up just from surfing the web.

Dear Maternity “Fashion” Designers (I used the term fashion quite loosely here):

I spent a little time surfing some websites today.  I am anticipating the need for some maternity wear in a couple of months and thought I would get an idea of what is out there.  I learned a few things from my browsing:

1.  You maternity “fashion” designers must hate pregnant women.  We aren’t asking that you make us look thin or less awkward but we are asking for a little bit of taste in the selection available.  And we understand that it does take more fabric to make a maternity top but it can’t possibly quadruple the price of a blouse.

2.  You apparently labor under the impression that if you put a really big, really loud, really bright print on a pregnant woman, our pregnant bellies somehow will disappear in the chaos.  That isn’t the case.  Just because the clothes are big doesn’t mean they have to look like circus tents.  Also, perhaps maternity wear isn’t the place for so many wide horizontal stripes?  I’m just saying.

3.  You think we all love leggings.  While I will agree leggings are comfortable, I can’t imagine my thighs or ass will thank me for being showcased in lyra in next 6 months.  Yet every maternity site has a separate category just for leggings.  (Anyone who knows me in real life and sees me wearing leggings this spring because lycra is the only thing that will stretch over my ass and thighs please be kind and don’t comment.)

4. You think shiny things make pregnant women happy.  I have never seen so many bedazzled tops in all of my life.  I don’t want shiny things calling attention to my new double chin or puffy face thank you very much.  Also, knock it off with the big bows on the belly.

5.  You have something against natural fabrics.  90% of what I saw was mostly polyester.  What is wrong with cotton?

Sincerely,

A horrified browser who will be likely be shopping at Target – at least their ugly clothes are cheaper

I have received lots of emails asking how I am feeling and wishing me well in my pregnancy. Thanks to everyone who checks in on me. I even got a great box of books from my buddy Priscilla (I won’t link since, ahem, someone never, ever updates) to entertain me while stuck on the couch.

I have hesitated to talk too much about my pregnancy because I know a lot of my adoption friends have struggled with infertility which can make it painful to read about someone’s pregnancy. Bringing home our babies does tend to ease the pain but it doesn’t make the memory of try to conceive go away. But this blog has always been an honest account of what is going on in my world and this pregnancy is a big thing in my world right now.

As for the how I am feeling question, the short answer is fine. I really can’t complain. The longer answer is that I could sleep 18 hours a day if Sabrina was on board with that, the daily headaches are really awful, I’m very irritable, , I am nauseous about 50% of the time, I’m prone to weeping and inappropriate laughter, and I am suddenly feeling a bit awkward in my own skin. I’ve already gained some weight (how can I not being forced to sit on the couch all day, every day?) but that isn’t it. I just feel rather awkward. I don’t think there is a single part of my body that isn’t effected in some way by this pregnancy already so things just seem slightly off from normal. I’m not miserable – none of this is really that bad. I’m not hanging over the toilet puking my guts out or anything. But if there was ever any doubt that there is no dignity to being a woman, pregnancy will put that to rest. I’ve had more people spelunking in my nether regions in the past few months than I care to mention.

I feel like a schmuck for even sounding like I am complaining. I’m over joyed to be pregnant and to have gotten this far. I’ve never had a rosy picture of what pregnancy might be like and so far it isn’t as bad as I imagined – I just wanted a family and saw pregnancy as a means to an end. Yes, I am in awe of what is happening but usually that awe is over ridden by the pounding in my head or the need to nap or my irrational irritation at the song on the radio. Everyone tells me that once I get over the 12 week hump it should all improve – and I am holding you to that. I’m at 9 1/2 weeks right now so I keep asking Steve if he can put up with my crankiness for another 3 weeks – he assures me he can. Poor guy had an awful birthday because I was a raving bitch all day long. The day ended with me trying not to toss my cookies after I shredded the pork that had been in the crock pot all day long. The whole house stunk of it and it suddenly make me want to hurl. I’m hoping it looks better today since there is a lot of it to eat. (We ended up going out to dinner because I couldn’t imagine putting a morsel of that pork in my mouth.)

So hang in there with me internet…I promise to try and remember what a wonderful thing is happening if you promise to overlook the bitchy tone of my posts for the next few weeks.

PS I moved south for the mild winters.  It is 21 freaking degrees outside at noon!  AND!  It snowed a little yesterday.  That isn’t particularly mild!

Last night was quite tame – a little Chinese delivered and a DVD. New Years Eve used to be the highlight of my year. My sister, friends, and I would make our plans months ahead of time. We never went out – we always had a small party with friends. Drinking usually began by 6pm, music and cards started by 8pm and festivities continued until well after midnight. I would wake up on New Years Day swearing I would never drink or smoke again. As everyone started getting married and having children, our annual parties broke up. I had some fun New Years Eves with other groups of friends but eventually it just became another evening of the year.  There are brief moments that I miss the anticipation of the celebration but I think that kind of party is for those younger than me.

We didn’t even make it until midnight.  Steve declared he was going to bed at 11:15 so I went to bed too.  Anyone make any interesting resolutions?  I never make them because I never keep them.  I figure it is better not to start a new year feeling like a failure because my resolution only lasted for 16 hours – 8 of which I was sleeping.  But I’m always interested to hear others’ resolutions and how well they manage to stick to them.

Our new years day traditional dinner is pork and sauerkraut.  This year I decided to give it a southern twist and make pulled pork and coleslaw (the smell coming from the crockpot is yummy!).  Anyone have any interesting or weird new years food traditions?

Happy birthday to my wonderful husband!