Parasite
I have received lots of emails asking how I am feeling and wishing me well in my pregnancy. Thanks to everyone who checks in on me. I even got a great box of books from my buddy Priscilla (I won’t link since, ahem, someone never, ever updates) to entertain me while stuck on the couch.
I have hesitated to talk too much about my pregnancy because I know a lot of my adoption friends have struggled with infertility which can make it painful to read about someone’s pregnancy. Bringing home our babies does tend to ease the pain but it doesn’t make the memory of try to conceive go away. But this blog has always been an honest account of what is going on in my world and this pregnancy is a big thing in my world right now.
As for the how I am feeling question, the short answer is fine. I really can’t complain. The longer answer is that I could sleep 18 hours a day if Sabrina was on board with that, the daily headaches are really awful, I’m very irritable, , I am nauseous about 50% of the time, I’m prone to weeping and inappropriate laughter, and I am suddenly feeling a bit awkward in my own skin. I’ve already gained some weight (how can I not being forced to sit on the couch all day, every day?) but that isn’t it. I just feel rather awkward. I don’t think there is a single part of my body that isn’t effected in some way by this pregnancy already so things just seem slightly off from normal. I’m not miserable – none of this is really that bad. I’m not hanging over the toilet puking my guts out or anything. But if there was ever any doubt that there is no dignity to being a woman, pregnancy will put that to rest. I’ve had more people spelunking in my nether regions in the past few months than I care to mention.
I feel like a schmuck for even sounding like I am complaining. I’m over joyed to be pregnant and to have gotten this far. I’ve never had a rosy picture of what pregnancy might be like and so far it isn’t as bad as I imagined – I just wanted a family and saw pregnancy as a means to an end. Yes, I am in awe of what is happening but usually that awe is over ridden by the pounding in my head or the need to nap or my irrational irritation at the song on the radio. Everyone tells me that once I get over the 12 week hump it should all improve – and I am holding you to that. I’m at 9 1/2 weeks right now so I keep asking Steve if he can put up with my crankiness for another 3 weeks – he assures me he can. Poor guy had an awful birthday because I was a raving bitch all day long. The day ended with me trying not to toss my cookies after I shredded the pork that had been in the crock pot all day long. The whole house stunk of it and it suddenly make me want to hurl. I’m hoping it looks better today since there is a lot of it to eat. (We ended up going out to dinner because I couldn’t imagine putting a morsel of that pork in my mouth.)
So hang in there with me internet…I promise to try and remember what a wonderful thing is happening if you promise to overlook the bitchy tone of my posts for the next few weeks.
PS I moved south for the mild winters. It is 21 freaking degrees outside at noon! AND! It snowed a little yesterday. That isn’t particularly mild!
That makes me feel much better about our 21 degrees, considering I am in Montana and all.
I always swore if I got pregnant I wouldn’t complain, but everyone who knows me at all, knows better! 😉
And, your title cracks me up. My SIL never wanted to experience a pregnancy because she couldn’t stand the thought of a parasite growing inside her.
OK, I giggled at the 9 1/2 weeks part. I’m 12, I know.
I figured you weren’t posting about it so that all those assholes couldn’t say, “See EVERYBODY gets pregnant after they adopt, because they needed to RELAX”
I would know, I used to be one of those assholes.
And yes, the second trimester is MUCH better. But then again, I did not have to care for a child. I could just call in sick and stay in bed all day. Which I kind of did.
Heck, I’m a raving lunatic these days and I don’t have a good excuse… other than a toddler prone to all manner of hissies and misbehaving.
I hope you get over the hump of the 1st trimester without too much more of smells making you want to toss your cookies.
And, I seem to recall a certain blogger complaining not too far in the distant past about it being too hot for fall/winter 🙂 Heck, it’s cold in FL today(come on, wind chills in the 30s IS cold for us and it is going into the 20s tonight), so I’m sure it’s cold there!
Ha! I still have a hard time eating pork! I made a fabulous pork roast while pregnant with my now 8 year old son…and couldn’t eat a bite of it. Now I have a hard time eating pork chops, sausage, bacon, or any other kind of pork. And just to warn you, some people just aren’t good pregnant people! I was miserable through all three of my pregnancies…which was just one of the many reasons we adopted our fourth child from Guatemala!!! (Who, by the way, has been home for 6 weeks and is awesome!)
Try lemonade or lemon drops for the nausea…something about lemons (smell and taste) helps that yucky feeling. Seems like everytime I delurk I have some home remedy to share!
I’m happy to read about your pregnancy woes and whatnot. Not that I’m happy you’re having woes.. I just like to be up on what’s happening!
I’m glad that (for the most part) things are good and that Steve plans to tough it out with you for another 3 weeks.
Look out week 13 if those people were wrong!
As someone who has struggled with infertility – I have NO problem reading about your pregnancy. We are all here to support you.
I’m sorry you are having a rough time, and I hope everyone is right and the 2nd trimester will be better.
Come and complain to us whenever you need to. (and by the way – you still crack me up – spelunking!!)
Keep your head up. It is always tough in the beginning. It may seem like time is dragging now but in a few weeks, it will be flying : )
Thanks for the update. I think you have been wonderfully pleasant. HEE HEE, really I have.
Keep up the good work and I will email Sabrina and tell her to get on board with the 18 hours of sleep a day.
Love ya == Jules
I hope the yucky feeling passes – but I have to tell you – I was sick for 9 LONG months with my last baby – my ERIN:) Now that she is here – I know why – she came out doing cart wheels and has never slowed down;)
You should know we all love you and you can let it all hang out and be honest:) We are here and happy for you. Your body is going through so many changes and I know it stinks right now:)
Hang tough sister and know that we are all here for the ride and are cheering you on:)
JUlia:)
As an infertile, I have to say that reading about your pregnancy doesn’t/won’t bother me at all. Once we decided to adopt (I can’t believe that was in 2002 and my son is 5 now!), I kind of forgot about the TTC thing and focused on the adoption. I think you are right: Once our children are home, the pain of TTC does go away. I will go one step further (speaking for myself, anyway) I can say with 100% certainty that all of my memories of depression/misery from TTC are so dulled that I rarely think about it. (Sorry for the rambling. I’ll stop now.)
What I’m getting at is that you could post something about your pregnancy every day and I don’t think any of your readers will be upset. We are here for you and want to be part of the journey.
Oh, Michelle… you so do not need to apologize for bitchy tones or feeling like crap when you also feel so lucky… you are soooooooo normal and human, and very, very sweet to think of the feelings of others… but, what we all adore in you is your honesty, so just keep on telling it how it is, and we will keep on cheering your lovely family on through each of life’s grand adventures!
It’s too bad that you are on bedrest right now…if you’re feeling cranky, we could be on the receiving end of some great memos! But since you have little contact with the outside world…we will settle for memos to talk show hosts, tv commercials, your neighbors etc….
Just wanted to say that you can talk about your pregnancy all day long, as far as I’m concerned!! Although it is NOT sounding like a lot of fun… kind of makes me happy I decided to adopt instead. 🙂
Speaking as one of those infertiles who moved on to adoption… I am VERY, VERY happy to hear about your pregnancy. I LOVE the fact that you have been able to get pregnant (and keep it) after dealing with infertility. I know you know what it’s like and you deserve every second of happiness that goes along with your pregnancy.
So please… continue to share!! ((HUGS))
PS… sorry to hear that you are feeling out of sorts. I’m sure it will go away soon. Hang in there.
You are the greatest..you are so darn funny.
Hang in there…I wish you all the best.
Teri
I am suddenly feeling a bit awkward in my own skin.
———–
I adore this phrasing as it paints a perfect picture of what youre feeling.
(and I echo the WHATS UP WITH THE COLD sentiment. A high in the 40’s in TEXAS? Toddler Girl doesnt have the proper clothes for this chickenbus. OOPS :))
C.
as someone who cannot have kids, i love reading your blog about your pregnancy! for me personally, there is a touch of jealousy, but having kaenen does help take my mind off of it quickly – especially when he is chasing the dog around the house with a hairdryer. i love hearing about each month and trimester and what that all entails. i can live vicarously (sp?) through you!
hang in there…and HOPEFULLY your 2nd trimester will prove to be easier for you.
it was 20 here in SC this morning…
And THROW AWAY THAT PORK! If it made you nauseous yesterday…it will tomorrow too. ICK I can remember that crappy feeling all too well. I only ate KFC mashed potatoes and fries for the first 12 weeks. At 13 weeks I swear it went away and life was good again.
As annoying and awful as pregnancy symptoms are…I still in a strange way miss it all and want to do it again…wierd. Hormones do strange things to the brain. I wish continued “blessings” on you and bebe and S and S.
Somehow it doesn’t come off as complaining when it’s someone you like, someone who “gets it” and someone who deserves it!
For me, the smell of peppermint helps with nausea…putting peppermint lip balm on helps it last too.
I completely agree with Jenn! I am also one of those whose pain of infertility vanished once I was united with Kevin.
As far as the cold goes….yeah, that’s exactly the kind of luck I have. If I moved South, the climate changes would blow people away.