Mommies of a certain age
I think I’ve finally realized (I can be a little slow to realize the obvious) why I tend to feel more comfortable in groups of mommies who have adopted than in regular mommy groups. Sure we have the conversation starters about agencies and process but that isn’t it. In regular mommy groups, I’m the odd man out. Not because I can’t tell my horror story from labor or talk about breast feeding but because I am the old mommy. The majority of the moms in the groups are in their 20’s. They bemoan getting older while I roll my eyes that 28 seems old to them. In groups of adopting moms, I tend to be closer to the median age. The moms are a little older for a variety of reasons. Many had biological kids when they were a bit younger and adopted later. Many are first time moms but a bit older because they either went through fertility treatment during their younger years or they had to spend some time becoming financially prepared for adoption or it is the way they chose to do things. Most spent more time in their careers before becoming a stay at home mom. I just fit better into that group and strangely it has little to do with the fact we both adopted our children.
These deep thoughts follow on the heels of a not-so-fun play date last week. The moms were all perfectly nice but so young that I had trouble relating to them beyond the fact we both spend the majority of our days wiping butts and noses. I was the oldest mommy and Sabrina was one of the youngest kids and the venue really wasn’t good for her – nothing she was really able to play with and a noise level that she found distressing. It is a group that I am not very active with and I think I might give it one more try and then give that group up entirely.
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Per a couple of requests, I took a pic of my clothed pregnant belly…but was too repulsed to actually post it. Sorry ladies. I keep saying I don’t look pregnant, just fat. And that is mostly true. I do have a belly but I’m just not sure how much of it is baby and how much of it is those weeks of bedrest. So once it is more obviously baby perhaps I’ll grant the requests. For now, forget about it.
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Miss Sabrina rarely gets anything done with her pretty hair. We are doing well when there aren’t bits of food hanging out of it. I do clip a barrette to get her bangs out of her eyes when they need trimmed. I’ve tried the pony tails but a combo of my ineptitude and her impatience results in some sad hairdos. But today, I tried it while her hair was still wet and it is messy but I claim victory:
And about 6 seconds later she pulled one out.
Please ignore the yucky pillow case behind her. I had to do something to keep her grimy hands off my chairs so now she smears her mess on the case and I wash it.
Sigh… I know what you mean about not knowing about being “in” with the moms groups. I am getting ready to hit the big 4-0 in a couple weeks and the moms groups I have been able to go to (when I happen to have a day off) seems to be all really young moms too. Not alot in common, except for cute kids! I was in a great moms group when my older kids were young (and I was your age – LOL!)… keep looking… they can be an awesome resource for you and Sabrina (and belly baby) when you find the right one.
LOVE Sabrina’s pigtails… she is just too too cute!! Hope to see you again this year at Guatoberfest! If it is going to be in TN, it will be an easy trip for you too (with TWO babies)!!
LOVE the flashdance flashback hairdo’s! Great that you and your friend had so much fun together!
I’m 24, and I don’t relate to young moms either. They often make me roll my eyes.
Genius – You are a GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE the pillow case idea- now patent and market it !!!! start a web site girl!!!!!
You could do fun patterns -blues and pinks and then also fancy for Fancy Mommas:) I am seeing ribbon and pom-pom trim – possibly bows on some – I think you have something there -go with it!
hey – this blond would have fallen for it if I had not sent this post first!
There ARE people that will buy it girl!!! WHY NOT??
My chairs get disgusting between JB and AG!!!!!!!
“Chair Saver”
“Chair Condoms” would not go over very well – but I think it is funny;)
OK- calming down – (just downed a coffee with an extra shot of Expresso)
I really think you could market that idea:)
LOVE the hair-do:)
I am so the oldest Mom is town – people are confused when we all go out – I think they think Juliana and Curtis are John and Abigail’s parents and that Bryan and I are the proud grandparents –
(sigh) – I know people are trying to figure it out every time we are out:) I am Ok with it now – but hair color and botox may be in my future – Poor John and Abs – hoping to NOT be in a wheel chair when they graduate college;)
Come on..what if you posted a pic of just the belly. No face…so it’s kind of like being anonymous..hehe
OK Michelle, I had to comment. You don’t give yourself enough credit… you talk about your brain not retaining things, but look at you!!! I am going to try the pillow case over the chair. What a fabulous idea!!! I am constantly wiping booster seats, chairs, you name it. I think Julia is right – you are on to something! As for the hair, I am with you – the best pigtails Lexi has had also originated with wet hair. Looking forward to seeing you! And… I promise not to make fun of your (YOUNG) age! 🙂
OK, I thought I was going to give you an original idea about marketing the pillow cases! I have a friend here who “does” pillow cases for birthday presents…she embroiders the kid’s name on it, stitches on some cool ribbon/rick rack, and usually adds something to personalize it like at embroidered horse, flower, football team mascot,etc. I agree…I’d buy it! If you want a picture of the cases my friend did for my girls, email me and I’ll send you a pic! At the least, you could get someone else to make Sabrina’s case look prettier for you chair!
echoing everyone.
I KNOW THOSE MOMMIES WELL (Im ancient to them)
love sabrinas HAIR!!
am NOT HAPPY with the R-WORD you used in reference to yer belly
negative self talk much Missy?
signed,
youre thankful I need to bathe my toddler so no more admonishing for now 🙂
Sabrina is the cutest. I swear, I post that exact comment every time I come here and there is pictures.
Mission accomplished!
Sabrina’s hair looks GREAT!!!!!!!
I do Sofia’s hair while she is finishing breakfast & zoning out watching tv and she has gotten to the point that she doesn’t even know I am messing with it!
🙂
hummm…………feel your pain. I never realized this was the problem, so I am even slower than you.
I do have a couple of mommy friends and yes they adopted and are older.
Wow you is smart! 🙂
Sabrina’s hair is adorable.
I know what you mean about these young moms. At the playground I was asked if Gabriela was my grandchild. YIKES. I’m only 43. Maybe she knew I was scoffing at her saying “like” all the time. (I was like so not amused)
well, you may have it figured out! That may be why I don’t feel like I fit in either. And I’m even older than you….
I’m cracking up over Julia’s comment.. Girlfriend, take it easy on the espresso shots!!! But, she’s right, you might be onto something!
Oh… I found I didn’t fit in even with the online groups and that WAS because I was the oldest Mom… 41 when I had Izabella 9 months ago. I tried fitting in but it just seemed their concerns were so different from mine. Eh
Anyway… I love the pillowcase idea and I will be swiping it when Izzy is in a booster seat rather than the highchair. Thanks!
Hey from one pregger in her 30s to another…those young biotches suck!
Before I even read about the “yucky pillowcase” I was asking myself if it was a pillowcase… GENIUS… I will be donning a pillowcase tomorrow!
Honestly I would consider marketing some cute ones… that idea is for the record books!
Miss S is just way too cute – and I’m with Julia – market your idea!!! You could make some money!!!
Hey you know, I agree with the others – you should market those cases! Might give you something to do if you’re forced into “bedrest”.
Anyway – I seem to have a similar but somewhat different problem – the moms I seem to find myself with are all my age – but their kids are all big – so they have the “been there done that” kind of know it all attitude. Dontcha wish us bloggy buddies could hang out IRL on a regular basis?
I am not as old as you, but I have never fit in. Most moms in the groups I go to are so strict about schedules that if their child doesn’t pee at 7:16 then something must be wrong. Life can’t and won’t happen if nap doesn’t occur at exactly 12-3 the world falls apart. I don’t operate that way. I am more flexible, and so are my kids. We have a routine, but not a set schedule.
I love Sabrina’s hair. It is tough to do when they are that young. She is just adorable. I want to thank you for the pillowcase idea……..I am onto it!! You are genius. In the course of nine years this has never occured to me.
well i second everything everyone else said. 🙂
Hugs to you!
too much cuteness!!!
Yep…echo, echo, echo.
And yes, you can totally claim victory…the piggies are ADORABLE! Have a great week! God bless.
told you so:)
Love the pillow case! I’m going to steal the idea to save my chair too! I agree that you could market the idea and makes some good SAHM mommy bucks!!!
I also think the pillow case idea is awesome!! I still have John in his highchair (with the tray off) because I don’t want to mess up my chairs. Definitely, stealing your idea!
chair condom – genius!
Kerri and Ruby
Sigh… I was just this morning counting up in my head how old I would be when Jaden starts school and so forth… I will most likely be the oldest mommy… Hopefully he won’t mind for a while!
I have problems with relating too. The problem is that most of my friends aren’t married or have kids. It’s kind of hard to relate when you’re at different places in life. Especially since we went from 0 to 3 kids in 4 months. I haven’t tried any mommy groups though, between work, the house, and the kids I wish I had more time.
hmmm, chair condom- how about this slogan “Protection from unplanned messes all over America.” we don’t need one yet as i usually stick julian in the high chair while i clean the kitchen. i figure all that data on family dinner can’t be pertinent before he can talk.
i’m with kim and the mommy group thing- minus the 3 kids part. i’m so busy all i can do is work, clean, take care of the captain, and read blogs.
oh so cute.
And I am old, too. Old is ok. Wish I was closer to you and we could have an “old moms” group and have lots of fun.
PILLOW CASE ON THE CHAIR….great idea. I’m stealing that one.
I feel the opposite in adoption groups. I feel like I’m being looked at as way too young. This was especially true when we would go to waiting families meetings at the agency. We were a good (if not more) ten years younger than most at the meeting. In fact, I felt discredited for that reason. Plus, it wasn’t helped by the fact that both my husband and I look younger than we are.
I guess you can’t win either way.
Love the pillow case idea by the way.
first off I can totally relate to this post. I have been thinking of posting something like this for awhile, but just havent. Second off, she looks too cute in the picture. And lastly, thank you for that overly obvious solution to my chair problems with Kevin. Slapping myself in the head, why didn’t i think of that?
I am an older mom. I didn’t adopt my son, but did have him later. I just turned 40 and I’m the oldest of the kindergartern moms.
Hang in there with your mom’s groups and I hope you find one that suits you perfectly.
Sabrina is adorable.
That pillow case really is a good idea. I’m impressed by your brilliance!