Bursting my bubble
I had yet another appointment with my OB yesterday. My history of losses has robbed me of much of the joy that should accompany pregnancy. I’ve been afraid to be hopeful, afraid to believe things might end differently this time. But this weekend, I will hit the magical 12 week mark – the point when things are supposed to be safe for the most part. Of course there are never any guarantees but I find myself starting to believe this is really going to happen – we are going to have a baby. Every time I see that little heart beat on the ultrasound monitor (and this week I swear he/she was waving at me), I gain a little more hope and feel a little more excited.
My doctor doesn’t seem to want me to feel hopeful or excited. In the beginning when I was all doom and gloom, she was encouraging. Now that I am starting to feel good about this pregnancy, she insists each and every time on taking the wind out of my sails. Every week she does an ultrasound and doesn’t say a word. So every week I ask “Does everything still look okay?” Her response for the past 3 or 4 weeks is that all she can tell me is that the baby is growing and the heart is still beating. She won’t be able to tell me if the baby is okay until I am further along and she can do some testing. She then reminds me of my age and my medical condition and that both of these things mean higher risk to the baby. I’ve told her I’m not asking for any promises – I just want to know that everything still looks like it should at this point. Why can’t she let me enjoy this? I’ve not had many happy moments that are pregnancy related and I would like to enjoy this and know that there is a good reason I’ve felt like dog poop for the past 2 months. I know she is just being realistic but I find it quite annoying. Killjoy.
End rant. (By the way, everything still looks good minus her usual disclaimer.)
Sabrina has decided that water and sleep are evil. She screams during dinner if she hears Steve running the bath and then scream through her bath. That has been going on for almost 2 months. I’ve started showering with her – she still cries but it doesn’t seem to be quite as traumatic for her. And the bed thing just started this week. She sobs when we put her down for a nap or for the night. She has been fine for ages at bed time but this week there is no consoling her. If we rock her to sleep, she wakes up the second we put her in her bed. (Normally we can just give her a kiss and put her down and she will put herself to sleep.) If we don’t pick her up but rub her back she will eventually (meaning after about 20 minutes) calm down but immediately starts screaming again when we stop. The neighbors probably think I finally snapped and started beating her.
A couple of photos – love this little dress on her.
This fed ex box makes her happy.
Wow….I’m not sure if I like your doctor. (Like it’s up to me!) It sounds like her bedside manner is less than stellar. Yay! for the baby looking good so far, though. I’m sure all of your readers are rooting for you and the baby.
I love the dress on Sabrina. It’s so pretty!
Sending you happy thoughts from Nevada. I am sorry that your doctor is a killjoy. I don’t think I like her very much either.
And that dress is only half as cute as the beauty wearing it : )
Well hopefully this doctor has many skills that are worth more than her bedside manner 🙁 Sending lots of prayers that things continue to progress well and the weekend is almost here and you will be at that magical 12 week mark.
thinking about you and your Dr. just doesn’t know how many of US are praying that you and your baby will be just fine:)
Take care of you in all of the water and sleep drama;)
If you are like me, you won’t be able to be completely happy and relaxed about the baby until you hit the 37-week mark!!!
Alex went through the same thing about the same age as Sabrina. Hated his bath – hated his bed. It lasted a couple of weeks and then it got better. He’s back to loving his baths and not fighting us with sleep. I hope it gets better for you!!
Separation anxiety. Kids usually go through it around 12mo-18mo from everything I’ve read. Wes is also going through a fear of bedtime right now. I think it’s just from being apart from the parents. Hopefully she’ll grow out of it soon.
Do you think you might want to find another Dr? Not that she should be unrealistic with you, but I’m sure bursting your bubble is not going to effect the out come. Like if you are scared and anxious that is supposed to be better for the baby? huh? And don’t get me started on the age thing.
I think your doctor has multiple personalities. Isn’t this the same woman who stalked you in the beginning. I am not a Dr, but at 12 weeks things seem to get safer. UGH!! Hey, be happy here in blogland. I, for one am thrilled for you. And, by the way—you aren’t that old!! For God’s sakes, does she want you to be a teenager? Geez!!
I feel for you on the bedtime thing. Reese is doing similiar stuff. Haven’t quite gotten as far as Sabrina, but we were up from 2-3 this morning with the same issue. Fine until he hit the crib. Eventually he gave in, but it is tough. At this stage of the game for both of them they are well adjusted, it is just age—and I am sure the two little angels that we have would NEVER be testing us to see who could win. He may win many batttles, but in the sleep department I swear I will win the war. (Wish me luck)
Be happy pregnant Mama!! I am still voting girl!!
Booo for the killjoy doctor, so happy that things are going well.
And Sabrina is ridiculously cute in that dress 🙂
Hmmmm…. I liked your dr in the beginning too. I remember her personal attention. But geez, I’m not liking her so much now. I realize she has to make sure you understand there are some risks, but I’m with you… she should be able to at least say that for now, things look good. Ugh……..Any other high-risk docs in the area you could at least try one appt with?
As for the bath thing. Odd. Haven’t experienced that.
We had a few nights like you described putting Gabriella to bed. She would just scream and cry unless we were in the room. Any move toward the door ended in hysterics. Fortunately it was only a couple of times. I agree it might be some separation anxiety. It’s hard(not to mention tiring).
I’m so sorry about your doctor. That makes me so angry. Why don’t we let YOU manage your emotions/expectations and SHE can manage the medical information, HOW ABOUT THAT?
Maybe you should try putting her to bed with the FedEx box. HeHe.
Julie and I went through the bath thing with Ally. We had been bathing every other night (to cut back on bathing due to dry skin), but went back to every night. We also did everything to make it the place to be…both of us in the bathroom, fun music and singing….but I think what got her back in the groove of liking baths was having one every night. We endured a lot of crying and screaming about it, but now she isn’t even upset to get her hair washed (and with so much hair, it takes a lot of water).
Don’t know if that helps your situation. Sending good thoughts your way about it. I think that a majority of kids go through this “I hate bath” stage and so many parents forget it when it is over. We asked some other parents of 2-5 year olds we know and they really had to think if they could remember it, and eventually they did. Good news is that no matter how awful it is, apparently we’ll forget it ever happened.
We also figure that a lot of Ally’s sleep problems come from major developmental things, like teething, learning to walk, etc.
Best of luck with the pregnancy – we’re all pulling for you here! We felt the same way about adopting – afraid to hope until it was all over. We were told that nothing is certain until you land on US soil – something could still go wrong. I think we’d be the same way about a pregnancy, too…there were times we were so excited and hopeful, and others when we were so reesrved.
Blah blah blah – maybe I should comment more often so I don’t write an essay!
Becky
Totally hitting the bath thing on the head…
Madisyn started that at about 13 months old and still does it.
She will scream when she hears the water running, Sob throughout the bath with body shakes and all…As soon as she is out and dressed she is fine, NO tears at all though through the whole thing, It is just the scream thing.
Sorry about the Dr, Be happy anyway.
So glad to hear that things are going well with your pregnancy. Sabrina is just adorable!!
running but SHE IS SO CUTE!
more via email…
M has occasional bath issues, and now cries at bedtime…they are close in age so I’m going with the age related theories! I give M a sippy cup to take to bed with her. Usually water, but if she’s really screeching I give her milk. I know it’s bad for her teeth, but none of us sleeping is bad for my BRAIN. Works very well.
The snark in me wants to confront your dr. at your next appt and say WILL YOU STOP SUCKING THE JOY OUT OF THE ROOM FOR MICHELLE, PLEASE. I know what you mean about knowing it might not be a happy ending, but still enjoying the ride. I say enjoy and think about the bad stuff some other time.
ugh. a killjoy doc, and a kid who hates sleep and baths. that’s a bummer situation. but BOTH are temporary, so hang in there.
i’m pulling for you and very excited about this pregnancy, so try to forget that doctor and rely on your bloggy friends. 🙂
it’s a shame that your dr can’t be a little more kind about her bedside manner. It is true she can’t say one hundred percent that everything is fine, but a pat on the back that says, as of now, it all looks good would mean the world.
Sounds like Sabrina is starting to voice HER independence in being dependent on you. LOL does that make sense? She is voicing her opinion.
First the dress is precious!
Second… Eliza did that just a few months back. We did a lot of holding and talking. It lasted only about 2 weeks. It was almost like she was terrified of something.
Third… I am so sorry that what should be an overwhelmingly joyous time for you is filled with stress, worry and tension. I wish I could make things easier with an insightful comment, but I just do not have one. My guess is she is waiting for the 20 week ultrasound to check all the parts and organs… then she will relax some!
Celebrate the small victories!
Does your OB really think you wouldn’t be cautious and guarding yourself a bit, knowing and living through your own history with this stuff?
We’ll celebrate with you – Hooray for 12 weeks!
Sabrina is too cute!
We are praying for you and the baby. I get a bit will ticked at Dr. Bedside manner. I am sorry, I have a medical condition, I have dealt with majority of my life, rude I guess, I once in awhile remind them that I am paying for their bmw. LOL Michelle, I look forward to reading your blog everyday.
Bedside Drama. I think Sophie wrote the book on that. At Sabrina’s age we used the bedtime bucket. It worked for awhile. She could pick a junky litte toy mcdonald toys etc worked great she could have it, but if she cried or got out of bed we took it away. By the third night it worked great. Reminder they play in bed for a few moments. I am not really an advice giver, but when it comes to bedtime, I am willing to help a sister out.
I am so sorry about your doctor’s attitude. SO SO SO very sorry. I can relate to much of what you said…and it SUCKS just plain SUCKS that she is sucking out the joy of this very amazing situation you have found yourself in.
Bad memories…
Just enjoy it and stick your fingers in your ears and say “lalalala I cant hear you” whenever she starts talking like that. Then she will just think you are crazy and maybe she will focus on that. Sigh.
I was going to share our experience with bath – but Becky beat me to it! Bed & nap time is becoming a bit of a battle too, but we are really chalking it up to the 4 teeth that are still making their way in – 2 down in 1 month – does that mean we have another month of this?
Sorry the doctor isn’t more cheeful. I tend to be a doom & gloom type myself – my boss calls me a fun-killer. But Oh how I am sending thoughts of happiness and joy and excitement your way.
I’m sorry about the killjoy Dr., what is her problem? A little optimism goes a long way in my book. Congrats on getting so close to that 12 week milestone!
As for the bedtime drama, Cameron has gone through several weird sleep phases over the past year and I know how exhausting and frustrating it can be. I don’t have any great advice for you, I just know that it’s been an on and off thing for him so hopefully Sabrina gets over it and calms down about sleeping again soon.
As for the bath thing we JUST went through a major phase where Cameron would scream and cry and didn’t want anything to do with baths. I got him a bunch of fun wind-up type bath toys, at least I thought they were fun, which had no affect on him and actually seemed to make him more upset! I recently went out to T@rget and bought him some super fun bathtub finger paints and some of those foam letters/numbers that stick to the tub wall when wet and those have been miraculous! At first he wanted to play with them but didn’t want to get IN the tub to do so…but once we coaxed him in he took an hour long bath and I had to talk him OUT of the tub! Since then we’ve had no trouble, so maybe just keep trying new things until you find something that clicks with her. I hope that helps a little anyway! Good luck!
I can tell you from experience. I have had 5 misses but 6 very healthy pregnancies. Even my late m/c’s (14 weeks) I always knew something was wrong by 10 weeks. The heartbeat slowed down and/or I was spotting.
Enjoy this time Michelle!!! (PS- package coming your way 😉 )
Congratulations on coming this far along.
Sorry the dr is being a butte 🙂
I hope you get to enjoy every minute from now on!!
Sabrina is cute as always!!
We haven’t had the bath or bed problem YET….
I hope it gets better soon.