Who Knew?
Things that I never anticipated I would be saying at this point in my life:
“Don’t put that lego up the puppy’s butt.”
“Don’t stick you finger up mommy’s nose.”
“Don’t lick the puppy.”
“Oh boy! Your favorite! A receipt!”
“No, you can’t put your finger up the puppy’s butt either.”
“No kicking mommy in the head.”
“Go around the puppy, don’t walk on him.”
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I’ve never believed in decaf coffee. When I found out I was pregnant, I gave up coffee completely and started drinking decaf tea. Today, I met some friends at Starbuck’s and had a decaf latte – nirvana when you haven’t had coffee in over 2 months.
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Speaking of Starbuck’s, let me offer a piece of advice to the 2 men who might occasionally read my blog. When a group of women are discussing pregnancy, labor, and delivery, it is never okay for you to add your story. Unless you have a uterus, it is just creepy to try and join the conversation. This odd man, probably around 30, overheard our conversation and said “I don’t mean to eavesdrop but…” then proceeded to talk about his wife having a c-section and how he didn’t want to look below the drape for fear it would change the way he looked at her for the rest of their lives. It was rather uncomfortable and a little creepy. So guys, error on the side of caution and just keep your thoughts to yourself. But thanks for making me worry that my husband may be repulsed by me in the future if he happens to look beyond the drape.
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Sabrina thinking about making a break for it:
Doesn’t quite understand why she needs to wait until we get home to drink some milk:
Well glad you can get out of the house, finally, even if only for a little bit, and even if only for DECAF coffee! 🙂
My husband used to send me to Starbucks to get his drink for him when I was pregnant and I always used to feel like I was buying contraband or something. Like, I had to explain that “it’s not for me!” Kind of made me wonder where all these pregnant smokers (that you know are out there) are actually smoking. Do they go behind their house and do it, or just boldly go out in public and say screw it?!
(he he. I drank my 1/2 can of Diet Coke IN PRIVATE!)
We need a Starbucks!!
Men should NEVER talk about labor stories. Joe tries to block the memories out!!!
Man, what was up with AWKWARD GUY? Who does that? Most guys couldn’t flee the scene fast enough when those topics come up!
Definitely a weird man!!!
OK, so Gabriella and Sabrina have at least one thing in common – her favorite thing in the world is a receipt on the way out of a store. I have no choice but to give it to her or the world might end or something!!
And uh, yeah, finger in mommy’s nose is a favorite!
oh, and to Rachael — I saw a pregnant smoker about a week ago. Made me pretty pissed.
Umm I (or the sitter) have had to say EVERY one of those to Gabbie except for the walking on the dog. Seriously she has some type of infatuation with fingers up noses and it is so gross! Glad to hear she isn’t the only one. Also she also has tried on numerous occassions to touch or put something up our sitter’s cat’s butt. Thanks for the “normal” reassurance!
Oh, that last photo is so cute! Elise also loves to grab my receipts (which I save to file later) and it is a constant tug of war between us!!!
bahabahabahabahabahabahabahabahabahabahabahabahaba!!!!!!
BOY – did I need that laugh today!
OMG – I was trying to read this to a friend and couldn’t because I was laughing to hard.
Kerri and Ruby
Yeah – fingers up noses are a fun thing in this house, too!! 🙂
Oh come one, surely you, too, have “Please don’t eat the nasty lint off the floor of our rental apartment” on your list??
And yes, I vacuum daily. 🙂
And the guy? Pervy.
I second priscilla on the pervy and add my own “yes emma you CAN slap a book against your v’jayjay but you might choose not to (or try something else 🙂 which I DIDNT ADD but wanted to :))
Creepy guy. I had a guy a work ask me if I had stretch marks yet when I was pregnant. Umm, WHAT?!
Funny funny stuff with Sabrina.
Sounds like Sabrina is having lots of fun! I remember those days with Bryant…
Congratulations on getting out of the house a bit. I love Starbucks… but only frapachino’s… especially the peppermint ones they have at Christmas.
Jenny
I love this post. I too sit and laugh at things I am now saying. Glad you were able to get out of the house. Maya does the same things with milk. My girl loves the jug. Kind of scary!!!
Too funny, I often find myself saying things that can only make sense to me or another mother of a toddler….don’t put my driver’s license in the dogs water bowl, please dont poke my eye out, get that battery out of your mouth….I’m sure you understand.
I am afraid of Starbucks. It is too intimidating, I have no clue what to order.
LOL on your list of things you have said, ah, yes. What have our lives come to? LOL.
Sabrina is too cute, the last picture should be a “got milk” campaign pic!