Memo to the clerk at the mall today:

I understand that telling your BFF about your crazy awesome date last night is really important to you.  I also understand that you are likely getting paid minimum wage and received very little training on what exactly customer service entails or why it is important.  However, when you have a line of 7 people at your register and 3 of those people have whiney antsy children who were just traumatized by the freaky looking Easter Bunny your mall hired, perhaps you can put down the phone and stop asking your friend to repeat herself because you can’t hear over the whining children?  Thanks.

Oh and that tramp stamp peaking out of the back of your pants?  Totally looks like a drunk dude did it with a sharpie on spring break in Ft. Lauderdale.

Sincerely,

Customer #6