Thanks for the love my friends.  No, it doesn’t change anything but it is nice to know we have so many people out there rooting for us.  As anon pointed out yesterday, I’m having trouble finding the smiles in my blog name right now.  I’m okay though…mostly numb.  I was disappointed and frustrated with the news but not shocked.  I just can’t work up any shock about this process anymore.  I think the only thing that would shock me at this point would be seeing some fast progress.  But there are people out there with worse time lines than ours so I can’t get sucked too far into a pity party.

I’m just tired at this point.  Tired of hoping and being disappointed and bitter.  Tired of answering the question of “Why can’t she come home now?”.  Tired of jealousy fighting the joy of hearing good news for others.  Tired of adjusting our projected time line in my head.  Tired of being consumed with all things adoption.  I love this little girl more than I can say and I just want her home so I can forget all of this like everyone tells me I will.  Ignore my cranky ass – I think I’m coming down with the flu.  I just need a nap.

I received 2 sweet gifts yesterday…one from my husband and one from my SBP.  Both made me smile.  I will post photos later tonight.