I wonder about this internet connection I have developed with so many women during the adoption process. When I speak of one off-line (and I do speak of them sometimes), I simply call her “my friend” to avoid that weird conversation you have with people who are not closely connected to people they’ve never met via message boards or blogs or email. Carla uses the term “stranger friend”. That works on some level. The person would be a stranger if you passed her on the street but is a friend in a very real sense.

Some of my net friends I feel rather close to. I am in contact with some more often than my real life friends. They “get” what I am going through in a way my real life friends never can. We share information about our lives, joy about our babies, frustration when things are slow, and grief when something goes wrong. I’ve even received and sent gifts to my net friends. We support each other through a process that might be otherwise almost unbearable. I honestly can’t imagine going through this without my net friends. Yet most of them I may never meet in person or even speak to by phone.

I am going to meet a couple of them when we visit our babies in December. I’m excited to make that connection in person since many of them have been an important part of my life for the past several months. Based on yesterday’s comments, I have to assume that many of you feel the same way about your stranger-friends. It sounds like many of us lean on each other to get through the rough days.

I wonder what happens after? After the adoptions are finished and the babies are home. Do groups stay in touch? Or does everyone get busy with the mom gig and fade away? Do these friendships sometimes transition successfully into real life friendships? Or are they best left to the forum in which they began?

BTW – I was a little sad no one noticed my clever use of John Cougar lyrics in yesterday’s title. *sniff sniff* I take that back, Steve started singing it after he read the post.