Dear obnoxious co-worker in the next cube who insists on talking on her speaker phone all damn day long:

I appreciate that you think my homemade salad dressing looks good.  I am a pretty good cook and enjoy letting others sample things I’ve made then basking in their adoration.  However, I would appreciate if you would NOT put your finger in my dressing and THEN ask if you could have a little taste.  Keep your chickenbussing fingers out of my salad dressing. If asked before you stuck your finger in there, I would have gladly given you a taste on a plastic spoon.  I don’t even particularly like you – I certainly don’t want your finger germs in my salad.

Thank you,

The management