Through a couple of venues, I try to hear a little bit about how re-building is going after Katrina. I had the honor of working with several hundred evacuees who came to our city after the hurricanes last year. About ½ of them stayed and our city is all the richer for it. About ½ of them returned to LA or MS (most of them when the first snow fell). But they all brought amazing stories with them. Many of them shared photos of the damage to their homes and communities. Others worried for the safety of friends and families. Some were angry. All were heartbroken for the loss but thankful to be safe. A couple shared happy news in the midst of the tragedy: one woman gave birth the day after the hurricane, another discovered she was pregnant during a physical exam upon her arrival here.

MSNBC has a section called Rising from Ruin about the recovery efforts. There are a couple of people who do journal entries to update their personal stories. One man said his mom always told him “Life is what happens when you are making other plans.” He went on to relate that to his recovery from the hurricane. But both his story and the quote gave me a moment’s pause.

I’ve been feeling a little down because it looks like the wait for a referral is going to be a long one. (Acckk! How can I feel sorry for myself waiting a little longer for our baby when others face such huge hardships trying to rebuild their lives?) We were planning on a month but from the number of people on our agency message board talking about being on the waiting list, it might well be 2 months. Or more. We’ve started joking that when we started this, we had an outside hope of having her home for Christmas. Now we are just hoping to have a referral by Christmas. [Wait for it…I’m going to bring it all together…I promise.] I’m constantly pushing back my internal deadlines (I always pad them for small PGN delays). Originally, I was thinking she would be home by Valentine’s Day without a doubt. Then I was thinking well definitely by St. Patty’s Day. Now, with the wait for referrals, I’m thinking she’ll definitely be home by Easter (won’t she?)! I keep feeling like we are putting life on hold waiting for our child. [Feel it starting to coalesce?]

I spent ½ of every month for over a year being extra careful about everything (no coffee, no sushi, no alcohol, no Advil) just in case I was pregnant. I’m tired of living for the what-ifs! I know that we will eventually end up with our daughter. I wish it would happen sooner rather than later but I have no control over that. So my resolution is to keep enjoying my husband, our home, our friends and families – to keep living. Life is what happens when you are making other plans – I want to quit focusing on the plans and start focusing on my life. [There it is- the big finish! All tied together! Leave it to me to start with something as horrific as Katrina and weave it into a post that is all about me!]