In one of my early entries, I referred to the riding lawn mover incident but said it was a story for another day. My mom commented that I should share that story. She emailed me again last night asking: “Just what was the incident with the riding mower exactly?” I know I told her about it after it happened. Not immediately after but within 5 or 10 years. But, since she doesn’t seem to remember, I’ll share it again.

One summer day when I was about 12, I found “mow the lawn” on my to-do list. I put it off for much of the day but finally knew that if I didn’t get started it wouldn’t be done when mom got home. So I put on my walkman and rode around mowing the lawn while belting out Prince (Purple Rain being my then favorite lawn mowing soundtrack). I’m sure it was quite a show for the neighbors.

Because I didn’t like to get the hand mower out to trim, I would attempt to get as close as possible to the trees, shrubs, flowerbeds and sidewalks. On the back edge of the yard, there were 2 very large pine trees. They were actually in the neighbor’s yard but the branches started low to the ground and hung over some of our lawn. I was on the mower trying to get all of the visible grass so that I could skip trimming back there. I got a little too close. Several of the branches got sucked into the blade. But instead of cutting them, the branches wrapped around the blade. As the branches got wrapped around, the mower was pulled further and further into the tree. By the time I got the mower stopped, I was at a 45 degree angle with the mower’s front wheels up the tree. The back wheels were still on the ground…but not by much.

Yes, dear friends, I managed to get the riding mower stuck up the tree. After I finished freaking out, I began trying to free the mower. That sucker was stuck – it wouldn’t budge. I had visions of my mother coming home and finding the mower in the tree and panicked. I called my best friend who lived up the street. Imagine getting this phone call:

Me: Melisa, you have to come help me get the lawn mower out of the tree before my mom gets home!

Melisa: What?

Me: You have to come help me get the lawn mower out of the tree before my mom gets home! She’s going to kill me!

Me: Stop laughing, it isn’t funny!

Me: Stop laughing, I’m dead if she comes home and finds the lawn mower in the tree.

Melisa: Michelle, you are such a dumbass.

Melisa rode her bike down – I could hear her laughing from a block away. Together, we managed to unwrap the branches from the mower blade and get it out of the tree before my mom got home. So there you have the story of the riding lawn mower incident. Hearing that story, don’t you kind of have to marvel that I am able to string coherent sentences together? I sound like I should have to wear a helmet at all times for my own protection and have someone cut my meat for me.