Sig would like me to remind everyone that she has gone password protected. If you want to continue to view her blog, please email her at seegaltam@yahoo.com. She will send you instructions to access her private blog.

Also another reminder – there is just under a week left until this round of secret blog pals ends. I know I’ve seen a couple of other groups also renewing their pals…so pick your favorite group to join or join them all.  We don’t care which group you are involved with, just that you are included in one if you want to be.  I will be checking in to see who wants to continue and who doesn’t want to be included in the next round over the weekend. I will also reveal the matches from this round.

I finally did it. I’ve been putting it off for months but I finally started Sabrina’s lifebook. My sister in law gave me a scrapbook with some stickers and pages and a book of tips on scrapbooking. It’s been sitting in the chair in the living room mocking me for 2 weeks so I decided it was time.

I guess part of my reluctance is that I feel woefully inadequate for the job. I’m not an expert on Guatemala so who am I to design her first representation of the country where she was born? I decided that the job of mom is to pretend I am all knowing so I just did some googling. I printed out some facts and a lot of photos of Guatemala. I have a 2 page spread in the scrapbook now about Guatemala. Is that sufficient or should I do more? Are there other things I should include? I’m planning a page of the day she was born – that includes one with her foster mom and her birth mom, a page from DNA because there are more photos of her birth mom plus I’ll print out what she said she wanted to tell Sabrina, a couple of pages of update photos with foster mom and doctor appointments, and a couple of pages for visits. What am I missing?

**Just so you all know, this is my first scrapbooking attempt.  I don’t have the patience for it normally but want to have this for her.  So if you give tips, speak s-l-o-w-l-y to the blonde.

This one has circulated via email many times but always makes me laugh:
FACTS ABOUT RAISING CHILDREN
1. There is no such thing as childproofing your home

2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and then run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 4-year-olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a Superman cape.

5. It is strong enough to spread paint on all 4 walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

6. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

7. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up several times before you get a hit.

8. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

9. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

10. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

11. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh-oh”, it is already too late.

12. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke–lots of it.

13. A 6-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 60-year-old man says it can only be done in the movies.

14. A magnifying glass can start a fire, even on a overcast day.

15. If you use a waterbed as a home plate while wearing baseball shoes, it does not leak, it explodes.

16. A king sized waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq ft house almost 4 inches deep.

17. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old.

18. Duplos will not.

19. Play-Doh and microwave ovens should never be used in the same sequence.

20. Super Glue is forever.

21. MacGyver can teach us many things we don’t want to know.

22. So can Tarzan.

23. No matter how much Jell-O you put in the pool, you still can’t walk on water.

24. Pool filters dont like Jell-O.

25. VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches, even though the TV commercials show they do.

26. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

27. Marbles in the gas tank make lots of noise when driving.

28. You probably don’t want to know what that odor is.

29. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

30. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

31. The typical fire department has at least a 5-minute response time.

32. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

33. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

34. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

35. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect.)

I think about things and figure them out. That’s just what I do.  If I can’t find the definitive answer, I come up with the most plausible one.  I don’t like the unknown or the unknowable.  Let’s be clear here – I’m talking mostly about people’s actions and motives here.  I don’t really care how my computer tells the printer to print something without wires connecting them – I just want that to work when I press the button.

That is why a package I received in late November is still bugging me.  I just don’t know what to make of it.  You all know I am a story teller so let me give you a little history.

Mabel (names changed to amuse me) and I became friends in the 7th grade.  We were tight.  We were the queens of heart-to-hearts and inside jokes all through high school.  I went away to college.  Mabel stayed home and commuted to college.  Mabel met Harold.  Harold went to my college.  Mabel visited town often but never once in 2 years called me.  I forgave that because love and lust usually trump friendship at that age.  We talked on the phone often and sent funny Hallmarks often.  Mabel and Harold got married after Mabel got pregnant.  She asked me to be Godmother to her little girl.  I happily accepted. 

Our lives definitely diverged at this point.  I was working 70 hours a week at 3 jobs and completely consumed with my new found passion for social work.  Mabel was newly married, a new mom, and trying to finish college.  We kept in touch but it was hard to remain close.  Her little girl became more beautiful every day and Mabel announced that a little boy would soon join their family.  I was very happy for them – Mabel was the best mom I’d ever seen. 

We visited and talked on a semi-regular basis for several years.  When I announced I was going to get married, Mabel gave me a card declaring that we could now be great friends again.  This bothered me – why did my being married make it okay to be friends again?  My ex told me to stop obsessing and forget about it so I did.  Mabel was a great help during the planning of my wedding.

Over the next few years, we had a predictable cycle.  I would call every couple of months and leave a message.  I would not hear from Mabel for awhile.  We were both busy with life.  Then she would call me or send me a card saying she missed me and could we have lunch.  We would have lunch, she would say she wanted to renew our friendship, I would agree, and then I wouldn’t hear from her for 6+ months.  At one point, she told me she felt God was leading her to simplify her life and letting go of some people in her life.  I didn’t hear from her for a year – guess I didn’t make the short list.  I ran into her in the mall one day. We caught up a bit.  Months later, I invited her to my wedding to Steve.  I was happily surprised that she came.  I received one card from her and a couple of random email since she drove 100 miles to my wedding.   Every time I am about to finally write her off for good, I hear from her.  And every time I hear from her, I respond.  Why?  Because we were such good friends and knew each other so well.  Because I miss her.  It feels good to have that kind of history with someone.

Back to the package causing my confusion.  The Sunday before Thanksgiving, Steve and I were out having brunch. I said to him that I was going to send Mabel one more Christmas card and then I was done.  He asked why I was bothering to send another when she has been pretty clear she doesn’t want to continue our friendship.  I explained that I needed to do it for me.  I needed to know I had made all of the effort I could.

Three days later a box arrived in the mail.  From Mabel.  How does she always know?  Inside the box – a dozen children’s books for Sabrina and a card.  The card said ‘thanks for sharing your good news, I know you’ll be a good mom, kids can’t have too many books, etc’.  I sent emails to everyone I’d ever met when we got our referral.  Mabel received that email on 9/14.  I heard nothing from her – not even a quick “congrats” email – until the day before Thanksgiving.  The package was sweet and very appreciated.  But I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to respond.  I didn’t hear a word from her when my dad died.  She had to have known – it was on the front page of the newspaper 2 days in a row and on the radio news every hour.  I finally sent her one of our photo Christmas cards (photos of Sabrina from our trip to Guatemala) with a polite note of thanks.

So, oh wise ones of blog world, is Steve right?  Should I just assume the gift was a nice gesture from an old friend and let it go with my polite note of thanks?  I’ve always tried to excuse her lack of communication by understanding she is busy with her family and daycare business.  But the truth is, if friends are important, you make the time.  I guess it is finally time to call this 23 year old friendship done since I’ve been the only one trying to maintain it for quite a few years.  Man I sound rather pathetic don’t I?  Heh.

A little late responding to this tag from Sig.  Similar to the last one but different enough I thought I would complete it.

A- Available or Taken?  Happily taken
B- Best Friend? My husband and Deanna
C- Cake or Pie? Cake without icing (weird I know but I don’t like icing)
D- Drink of Choice? Diet Caffienne Free Pepsi…or margaritas if you mean the good stuff
E- Essential item you use everyday? Alarm clock…just not a morning person
F- Favorite Color? Periwinkle or yellow
G- Gummy Bears or Worms? Bears
H- Hometown? Bolivar
I- Indulgence? Homemade macaroni and cheese, chocolate
J- January or February? February (it’s closer to spring)
K- Kids and Names? Sabrina
L- Life is incomplete without? Good friends, good food, and lots of laughter
M- Marriage Date? Oct 9
N- Number of Siblings: 1
O- Oranges or apples? Apples
P- Phobias or fears? Snakes, spiders
Q- Favorite quote? Peace is not the absence of conflict in life…but the ability to cope with it.
R- Reason to Smile? My fabulous husband and beautiful little girl who will be home soon
S- Season? Spring – love watching everything come back to life
T- Tag 3 or 4 people? Think this one has made the rounds already
U- Unknown fact about me? I was incredibly active in politics in high school and college.  I once had tea with Hillary Clinton.
V- Vegetable you don’t like? Brussel Sprouts – uggghhh
W- Worst Habit? too sarcastic sometimes
X- X-rays? hand and ankle
Y- Your favorite food? Love ethnic food. Greek, Indian, Italian, Spanish, Thai, etc.
Z- Zodiac: Virgo

1. FIRST NAME: Michelle
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? That stupid Beatles song.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? These days? I cry often.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Pastrami at Primanti’s or turkey elsewhere.
5. KIDS? Sabrina, 4 months old, hoping she is home from Guat soon
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yeah, I’m a riot.
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? No, just my blog
8. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Ummm, if by a lot you mean every time I speak, then yes.
9. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep
10. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Would be cool but someone would have to push me. Hard.
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Crispix, honey nut cheerios
12. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes but I don’t put them away
13. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I am a very strong woman, unless faced with chocolate.
14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Coffee Almond Fudge (drooling)
15. SHOE SIZE? 9 1/2 or 10
16. RED OR PINK? Red
17. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? There are many things I would change but let’s say my impatience in certain situations
18. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My dad and my sister Kelly. I miss friends who live far away and friends I’ve lost touch with.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Jeans
20. LAST THING YOU ATE? grilled cheese, salad, tomato soup
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Scrubs is on in the other room
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? yellowish orange (or is it orangish yellow?)
23. FAVORITE SMELL? fresh baked bread
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Steve
25. THE 1ST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Eyes and smile
26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes! Alleen is awesome
27. FAVORITE DRINK? Diet caffeine free pepsi or margaritas
28. FAVORITE SPORT? To watch? football
29. HAT SIZE? No idea – I look stupid in hats
30. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes
31. FAVORITE FOOD? love food, depends on my mood but ice cream usually is toward the top of the list
32. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Both
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Blue sweater
34. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIES? Casino Royale
35. SUMMER OR WINTER? Neither – I’m a spring/fall person
36. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs – except with hubby
37. FAVORITE DESSERT? chocolate
38. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ??
39. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Not tagging anyone – think this one has made the rounds now.
40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Stephen King’s Lisey’s Story
41. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Laptop – no mouse
42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Top Chef
43. THE FURTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? Greece
44. WHAT’S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? Boring strangers around the world with my blog
45. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? September 11 Lima Ohio
46. WHO SENT YOU THIS? Alleen

In about 2 weeks, we will call this round of secret blog pals closed.  If you haven’t sent a little something to your pal – please do so!  I’ll do the big reveal in case you haven’t figured out who your pal is.

You are 4 months old today…I’m so sorry I’m not there with you.  Mommy & Daddy love you and miss you but we know that your foster mom is loving you and taking care of you until we can be with you again.

Now that the holidays are behind us, many of us are returning our attention to our adoptions (not that our attention ever left it, we just knew it was at a standstill for the last several weeks).  We’ve seen some good and some bad news and some lack of news out there in blog world.  Those adopting from China are waiting to see how many days were matched this month.  I have a cousin and a step-sister with LID dates (they sent their dossiers the same date so they could travel together) close to being matched…this month or next so I’ve been waiting along with all of you.  Jenny, after only 2 weeks in PGN, was notified they are OUT yesterday.  Priscilla was notified they were OUT, also after only 2 weeks in PGN, over the holidays and is waiting for PINK.  Rhonda’s daughter has become a woman at the tender age of 4…she’s discovered her inner shoe diva.  Elle has managed to get Pickle to eat without having to duck and take cover.  Karena, who has struggled to find an adoption program that will fit the needs of her family, has dropped out of the game for a very happy reason.  Kendra is getting ready to leave to visit her darling baby boy.  Kelly just got back from visiting her baby girl and probably needs some love because we all know how hard it is to leave.  Tricia is still waiting for news that DNA has been done.  Sig still isn’t sure if she is back in PGN after what should have been a brief KO.  Erin received her second KO from PGN which sucks donkeys.  Another friend in blog world, who I won’t name because I’m not sure she wants to draw attention to her situation, has hit a big bump and has been told it may take months to fix the issue.  She’s missing her sweet baby boy more than we can all know.  And a couple of other people out there have seen the dark, evil side of international adoption that most of us hope to never know exists.  Different countries, difference agencies, similar stories: lies and intimidation.  I find it so disheartening to hear these stories.  That means that no matter how much we research and no matter what country we choose, when we give an entity this much power over our lives, we can’t be sure that we won’t be victims of an uncaring or incompetent agency/attorney/facilitator/government.    

As for us?  No news.  We entered Family Court 12/15.  Our file has likely not been touched since that time due to the holidays.  Hopefully it is on the top of her stack as she gets back to work today.  I would love to get news that we are out of family court by the time we visit in February.  I’ve had to stop looking at timelines because I see people with referrals 4 and 6 weeks after ours already in PGN.  It makes me so sad that Sabrina won’t be home as young as we planned when we started this process.  It is what it is and I can’t change it.  My new (and hopefully realistic hope) is to have Sabrina home the first or second week of April.  That could work if we get out of family court 6 weeks from now, get into PGN within a week of getting out of family court, spend 6-8 weeks in PGN, and get PINK within a week or 2 of getting out of PGN.  Of course that doesn’t allow for a late previo/KO.  We might still be able to swing it if we got an early (within the first 2 weeks) previo and it was an easy fix.  The uncertainty definitely makes this process harder.  If someone said “You can come and get Sabrina on April 5th” I could live with that.  I would obviously prefer they said tomorrow but if I could know that on April 5th she would be in our arms forever, I could adjust and plan for that.  But knowing it could be March if things went really well or August if things got really ugly makes it so much harder.  So, we wait.  I am starting the new year with cautious optimism.  I’m planning for a text book case from here forward – no hopes of speeding through anything and no expectation of the worst happening.

I have several of the books…but I miss seeing new strips! Calvin & Hobbes is my all time favorite comic strip – I love that twisted kid and sarcastic tiger! A little humor for those of us out there who need it while waiting for news.