Dear Nick Jr.

Dora needs to either enunciate more clearly or you need to provide subtitles so that I can see the Spanish word she is garbling.  I recently had the joy (where is that damn sarcasm font?) of watching the episode about the unicorn flowers for the 437th time and finally had to look up what she was saying (“Crezca flores”).  If you want to pretend you are teaching children some Spanish then find someone to do her voice that can make the words a little more clear.  Thank you.

A mother who is starting to see the light at the end of the Dora tunnel. (Sabrina has started choosing Imagination Movers over Dora most days.  Let’s hope that Tessa just goes along and likes whatever her big sister likes.)

PS Could you make a couple of new episodes while you are at it?  Something that isn’t an hour long and doesn’t involve saving the crystal kingdom or Swiper learning the meaning of Christmas?  Thanks.

I’ve always liked Sandra Bullock.  She just seems sweet and gorgeous and funny and down to earth.  Or maybe she just plays that woman in the movies.  Whatever.  I haven’t loved every movie she has made (Miss Congeniality 2? I would like those 2 hours back please) but I tend to enjoy her movies.  Steve and I went to see The Blind Side.  I LOVED the movie.  Loved.  I cried through much of it and walked out telling Steve we had to buy it when it comes out on DVD.  I’m sure part of it is my bleeding heart tendencies and social worker past.  But those things aside, it was a great movie.

I don’t watch award shows.  I find them dull and an aggravating celebration of the excessive worth placed on the ability to be pretty and pretend well (this is where I would go off on a tangent about how teachers, social service workers, and other under appreciated professions should receive gobs of money and acknowledgment but I’ll skip that today – I like movies and think acting takes talent…I just think we place too much value on it).  But I will admit I like to look at the photos of the pretty dresses the next day.  Meh – I’m fickle…so sue me.

Anywho, I did turn the Oscars on last night for about 20 minutes before going to bed.  And I caught Sandra Bullock’s acceptance speech.  It made me cry.  For anyone who wants to see it, you can click here to watch it.  She dedicated her oscar to “the moms that take care of the babies and the children, no matter where they come from.”  (The movie is about a woman who takes in a homeless teenage boy.)  Amen and bravo.  Foster parents (and those who do it informally for kids in the neighborhood who need love) are my heros.

She also thanked her mom for not letting her ride in cars with boys until she was 18 because she probably would have done things she shouldn’t have.  And she thanked her mom for teaching her “that there’s no race, no religion, no class system, no color, nothing, no sexual orientation that makes us better than anyone else.”  She had a smart momma.  And I love Sandra Bullock even more after her speech.

We had such a fun Mom’s Night Out with my MOMs Club.  There is a new(ish) business in our area that lets you bring wine or another beverage of your choice and then walks you through doing your own painting.  It isn’t quite paint by numbers – but they do hold your hand and break every thing down into simple shapes and tell you approximately how to mix your paint colors.  You can do your own thing or follow them precisely or some combo of those 2.  You can choose what night to do it based on the painting they are featuring.  I did not choose this painting and probably wouldn’t have based on the other choices I saw.  But it was loads of fun and I kind of like my painting.  I don’t know if it something that is available in a lot of areas but check it out if you see it in your town.

For locals click here for the link. They also have locations in AL and a couple other places.

Sorry for the unintended hiatus.  And I’m only checking in now so that people don’t think I’m trapped under something heavy.  First we had family in town and now I’m sick.  I have strep again (or still?).  Doctor tomorrow.

I have things I want to rant talk about (anyone want to guess which non profit whose name has been in the news regarding Haiti that I might want to rant about?).  I have a project I’m being drawn into which excites and scares me (exciting because it is something I care about…scary because it is something where failure is not an option and my brain cells are pretty scarce these days).  I could share how I turned some of my recipes gluten free for my MIL’s visit…but not sure that is particularly relevant to many of my readers – but I was pretty impressed by how painless it was.  And I should really take some photos of my cute kiddos.  So blogging will resume.  Soonish.

***Remember back in the day when you would get a test pattern instead of infomercials if you turned the TV on in the middle of the night?

• I took Sabrina to see a movie in the theater for the first time.  We saw The Princess and the Frog yesterday.  She did great – she sat still up until the last 10 minutes or so – although I think she was as excited about the popcorn as she was about the movie (sniff, sniff…just like her momma).  As for the movie, I was a fan.  I thought the jazzy music was fun and some of the characters were a hoot – Mama Odie and Raymond the Cajun Firefly were awesome.  And the message about working hard and not relying on wishes to make your dreams come true was great.  The scary parts were a little scary for Sabrina but she was fine.  I think we’ll add this one to our collection when it comes out on DVD.

• Remember my whole insurance coverage fiasco? It still wasn’t resolved.  I went to the doctor last week (specialist) and she advised that I see someone about my cold.  I don’t have a general practitioner here (I know, hush, I’ll find one) so I went to the CVS minute clinic.  They were quick, painless, and competent (more than I can say for my stupid insurance company) so I give them a thumbs up.  I paid my co-pay and they declared I had a sinus infection and gave me a couple of prescriptions.  I walked 20 feet to the pharmacy and was told my insurance company was claiming that I wasn’t covered.  (That sound you heard? Was my head exploding.)  Apparently, they have decided that I’m allowed to see doctors but not allowed to have drugs.  Steve called them yet again to get me reactivated.  (For the 5th time for those of you keeping track at home.)  He wisely wouldn’t allow me to call them.  I think he was afraid my threats rants toward our insurance company might actually be punishable under the Patriot Act.
• Tessa, who used to eat nothing, began eating like a truck driver.  Seriously, she shovels food in her mouth now.  But don’t give her milk while she has a mouth full of food – she doesn’t realize she could swallow it and then drink so she spits out whatever is in her mouth so that she can immediately drink.
• Tessa only says a few words but it is fun to watch her starting to understand things.  Sabrina watches a lot of Dora.  She loves Dora.  Tessa seems mildly entertained by Dora and has started doing the cutest thing.  Whenever she sees Swiper the Fox either on TV or in a book, she puts her hand out and waves it like Dora does when she says “Swiper no swiping.”  It is adorable.  She also “dances” by shaking her head no – too cute.
• My sister and her husband love doting on children who are not their own.  They will shovel sugar into my children for hours on end and then offer them ponies.  My sister called on their way to Wally World to buy Sabrina a bike for Christmas.  I told her she would have to have it shipped to our Wally World because there would be no way we could fit it in the car to bring it home.  She and her husband laughed at me.  Not only did they buy Sabrina a bike, they bought one for Tessa too.  I explained that there was no way we could fit them in the car with a weeks worth of luggage, other gifts, and a pack n play.  They assured me it would work.  I took a picture of my not overly large trunk and again tried to explain physics wasn’t on our side here – there would be no room.  My sister then tried to go around me and called my husband to appeal to him.  (That sound you heard? My head exploding again.)  He was even more adamant than I was – it is a hugely appreciated gesture but the bikes would not fit in the car on the way home.  I think she believed him.  Why does no one listen to me?  Despite their disregard for the physical limitations of my car, we love that they want to give our girls such fun gifts.  So I’ll quit harping and just say thank you Aunt Rusty and Uncle Mike.
• Getting sick right before Christmas means I’ve done no baking.  I even had to skip a cookie exchange with friends.  My butt thanks me but I haven’t had a single Christmas cookie this year.
• I thought it might not be a horrible idea to go to the mall last Friday.  Quit laughing.  I thought everyone would still be working and I could run in and grab something at 1 store.  Let me just say that my county is doing its part to turn this economy around – the mall was insane.
• Gah – how is Christmas in 4 days?  Assuming the weather looks okay, we are leaving tomorrow night to head north.  We plan to leave around 9:30 pm and drive through the night so that the girls will sleep.  We’ll see how that goes.  Anyone who follows me on twitter or is my friend on facebook might want to look away if colorful language offends you.

While commenting on a blog tonight, I was reminded of something that has been bugging me.  Courtney Cox has (had?) a new show this season called Cougartown.  I watched it once.  I didn’t watch it again for a few reasons: it is on against something else I watch, it wasn’t that great, and GAH what the hell do you mean Courtney Cox is old enough to be a cougar?

Friends came out a couple of months after I graduated from college.  It felt like it was about me – if I was hot and living in NYC with great friends and could afford an amazing apartment and clothes while never seeming to go to work.  (Seriously, Rachel was the only one who seemed to work the for first few years because she was bringing them all coffee.)  They were all around my age – maybe a couple of years older.  They were single.  They were funny.  They were friends.  Awesome.  Anyway, thanks to denial and reruns on cable Friends lives on.  The friends, much like me in my own head, haven’t aged much.

Then the new fall line up starts.  I catch 1 episode of Courtney’s new show – Cougartown.  I spent the first 23 minutes of the 30 minute show trying to wrap my brain around the fact that this gorgeous woman who is essentially my age can possible be a COUGAR with a TEENAGE SON worrying that she is TOO OLD to date the hot guy she is sleeping with.  I can’t identify with that.  I want to continue pretending that my life is closer to her single, carefree life in NYC than her single mother life in the ‘burbs.  I resent TV for making me face the fact that I am getting older.  Stop it.  Now.

And someone please make a decent sitcom again.

I saw some really cute Christmas ornaments on Etsy last year but couldn’t bring myself to pay the price tag that many were asking (the one I bookmarked was $25).  I was sure I could do it myself for much less.  How hard could it be?  Anyone who has ever walked into Hobby Lobby/Michael’s/JoAnn Fabrics has probably had the same thought.  Others have probably also found that making 1 ends up costing exponentially more than the original item might have cost if you purchased it from someone else.  Many have probably also had my experience and found yourself returning 4 or 5 times trying to get things right because it was a little more difficult than you anticipated.  I finally got the right materials and have enjoyed painting ornaments for friends and family.

I’m going to offer them up for sale here if anyone is interested.  They are 4″ glass ornaments.  I have frosted and white ornaments.  The white are topped with a clear glossy glaze.  The frosted are not gloss coated because it interferes with the frosted finish (as you can see on the Amanda and the Jackie – this was all a learning process). Each ornament is on a ribbon for hanging.

I’m naming each ornament for the person to whom the original belongs to help with identification.  You can request some swapping of colors – I will show you the colors available at the end of the post.

They can be personalized with whatever name you specify.  I did a lot of first names but also did one a family one “The B*****’s est. 2004”.

Each ornament will be $12 plus shipping.  I will only charge what it costs me to ship so it will be a case by case…it looks like it should be less than $6 (I did a few quotes on USPS and they were all around $5).  If I run out of boxes, I might have to purchase a few and add $.50 or $.75 to the shipping costs to offset that.  If you order more than one, I will do my best to ship them all together assuming I can get them wrapped up safely and still shipped cheaply.  Payment will be via PayPal.

If you want to order one, leave me a comment with your email and we can discuss the details via email.

On to the ornaments.

The Tessa: white ornament, fuchsia & lime stripes and dots

The Adam: snowflakes on a frosted ornaments

The Abuela: red and green stripes with silver and gold polka dots

The Jameson: frosted ornament with Christmas lights

The Polka Dot: white ornament with polka dots in a variety of colors

The Sabrina: fuchsia stripes, lime dots, with purple and turquoise squiggles

The Amanda: 4 flowers ring the top of the ornament and vine trails down and around the bottom

The Jackie: Fuchsia & turquoise stripes with a line of lime stripes and silver swirls

The Avadar: ladybugs and butterflies

Okay now for the paint colors.  These are available for stripes.  The turquoise and the lime are too transparent to make good thick stripes – they work best for the thinner accent stripes.  The fuchsia, red, and dark green are opaque enough for the bold stripes.

These colors are available for things other than the thick and thin stripes: silver, gold, apple green, bright pink, red, green, turquoise, magenta (the pinkish purple cap), purple, yellow, and black.

It has been a soggy week here.  Thankfully, 3 year olds are entertained my little things.  The “crown” headbands have allowed her to be a princess every day.  We picked up some new “friends” at Target earlier this week:

She talks to them so I guess that means I get a break from the chatter.

And at the consignment sale, we picked up a play vacuum since I seem to be vacuuming all of the time (damn dog).  It is her new favorite toy. She even parks it next to my Dyson.

These kids seriously crack me up.

Honestly, my birthday didn’t make me feel old.  It is just a day. Sure the number 37 seems impossibly high when in my head I’m still 23 but it is just a number.  Other things have been conspiring to make me feel old lately.

• The therapist who evaluated Tessa last week wasn’t just younger than me – she was YOUNG.  I would put her at 25 and only because she had a masters degree – otherwise I would have said 22.  When did professionals become kids?
• My nephew is 15 1/2 (the 1/2 is important because now he can get a permit to drive a car).  I’ve had some email/messenger conversations with him in the past week that have driven home the fact that he is nearing adulthood.  When did that happen?
• As some of my old friends approach 40, they are considering “What next?” because they will be facing an empty nest as children go off to college.  As I approach 40, I will be considering “What next?” because my children will be going off to kindergarten.  I also remember a woman who was 40ish who started working in my office after her children went off to school.  I remember feeling rather sorry for her – she was bright but had no ambition.  I couldn’t believe she had interrupted her life to stay home and wipe noses and butts.  I was 25 and that was my perception.  Irony is a bitch.
• I clearly remember my mother being the age that I am now.  That is just weird because she was always “old” (sorry mom).
• All of a sudden, I find myself holding things with small print a little further away from my face.
• Without meaning to, I find myself going on a 5 minute rant about how the kids in our neighborhood play in the street instead of their yards.  Next thing you know, I’ll be chasing them out of my yard while wearing my housecoat and brandishing a broom.
• The kids who are seniors in high school this year are showing off their “Class of ’10 Rocks” spirit which makes me clearly recall sitting in pep rallies proudly chanting “S-S-S-E-N-I-I-I-O-R! S-E-N-I-O-R SENIORS SENIORS SENIORS!”.  Then I realize that no matter how clearly I remember it, it was 20 years ago that I was a senior proudly displaying my Class of ’90 enthusiasm.
• I find myself telling my husband as he drools over cool new phones that I just don’t understand why he needs his phone to do anything but make and receive phone calls.  He has a camera to take photos, an MP3 player to listen to music, a video camera to capture videos, and a computer to surf the web.  Why does he need his phone to do those things too?
• When I heard Patrick Swayze died (how sad is that?), it was mentioned that Dirty Dancing came out in 1987.  I was thinking how much I love that movie and then it hit me: how is it possible that was 22 years ago?
• When I read People magazine, I’ve never heard of 60% of the “celebrities”.